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What a Tough Time to Be a Catholic Writer!

10/4/2018

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While I’ve been completing “Riding Out the Wreckage,” the third book in The Father Michael Trilogy, my Church has been falling apart!

More revelations keep coming to light about long standing sexual abuse by, and homosexual affairs among, the clergy. Faithful Catholics are dismayed and don’t know what to believe regarding their Church leaders.
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Our religion appears to be in tatters and this makes it a difficult time to be writing Catholic fiction. But I believe this is also an important time to be a Catholic writer.


The Church Isn’t Always Easy to Defend 
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When I returned to the Church, after being absent for twenty years, I was immediately greeted by the downfall of my parish priest and his successor.

The first pastor was accused of sexual misconduct with the seminarians he was in charge of 30 years prior. We parishioners wanted to believe his denials, but were finally forced to accept the truth, as more and more credible witnesses came forward.

God had called me back to the faith for this? My Christian Mystery novel, Brittle Diamonds was a response to the crisis.

We embraced the new pastor, a Monsignor no less, with eagerness to believe in a good shepherd again. But after two years he announced he was an alcoholic and left us to go into rehab.

Reeling, we looked to a third leader to save us.
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He was late coming to the priesthood, having being a lawyer in his previous life. He is level-headed and still at that church.


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Satan really goes after the clergy!
However, I became concerned when he preached on the miracle of Christ feeding the five thousand with five loaves and two fish. He described it not as being a miracle per se, but an extraordinary example of people sharing what they have.

That is not at all what the Gospel says!

Where did he get that interpretation from? Did he also not believe that Jesus brought Lazarus back to life? Did he even believe that Christ actually died and rose again?

This man was not teaching the Truth. How many more priests like him were out there?

What had happened to Catholicism while I was gone?

There really Are Good & Faithful Priests 
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Despite misgivings, I clung to what I believed to be right and did my best to be a good Catholic while in that parish.

Then came my move to Maryland, and to a parish with a wonderful priest who is devoted to fundamental Catholic teaching, including the truth that Christ did perform miracles.

I am grateful for him and the two subsequent pastors who’ve been shining examples of what is means to be good priests.

They are not afraid to state the truths of both the Old and New Testaments, however unpopular they are and whatever the cost to themselves. One of them even said that he fully expects either his or the next generation of priests to end up in prison because of the current wave of atheism and anti-Catholicism.
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And the turbulence within the Church is not helping to stem the increasing onslaught.
Satan really goes after the clergy: they have so much temptation to resist and they badly need our prayers!
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Now Is the Time to Trust in the Lord 

I think it’s helpful to remember that Judas was in the Church right from the beginning; that Peter denied Christ three times, and all the Apostles ran away from Christ when he needed them the most, except for John. We’ve been repeatedly warned that evil will attack from within and shouldn’t be surprised it’s happening.

Nevertheless, it’s deeply painful and confusing to have our trust shattered again. The  Catholic Church appears irretrievably damaged. But consider these words from Bishop Robert Barron in Why Remain Catholic with so Much Scandal?:

“we are not Catholics because of the moral excellence of our leaders. I mean, God help us if we were. We want our leaders—indeed, we expect our leaders—to be morally excellent. But we are not Catholics because of that moral excellence. We’re Catholics because of Jesus Christ, crucified and risen from the dead. We’re Catholics because of the Trinitarian love of God. We're Catholics because of the Mystical Body of Christ. We’re Catholics because of the sacraments. We’re Catholics especially because of the Eucharist. We're Catholics because of the Blessed Mother. We’re Catholics because of the saints. Even as leaders in the Church fail morally, the Catholic Church remains the Mystical Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ. And she’s worth fighting for.” (My emphasis.)
 
By continuing to write Catholic fiction, I hope to spread the beauty of Christianity and the truths of the Catholic Church, which transcend the moral character of her human leaders.
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In the words of Peter Herbert, in A Severe Mercy: Our Time of Visitation “Our job is to obey and to entrust everything to His mercy and love and to the protection and intercession of Our Lady.” The ending of the Bible makes it clear – God wins.
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From Seeming Futility to Utility

3/28/2014

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Being a Christian can sometimes feel like wandering in the desert

This has been an amazing week! The Holy Spirit has worked through me (with the aid of others) to directly benefit two persons' lives.

Guided to an Oasis

We often go through long periods when it feels as if we’re not doing anything useful for the world. Our financial donations to various causes are important, but we don’t see the benefits of this activity close-up.

That feeling of dryness completely changed this week. I was led to a spiritual oasis, a wonderful gift from God for Lent.

Using me, the Holy Spirit led two people to bring two people closer to God and in line with His loving wishes for their lives.

I feel privileged and deeply grateful to God.  He’s been hearing “Thank you” much more often from me than just the regular petitions this week!

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The Donkey’s Lot

My previous parish priest used to say that the life of a good Christian is often like that of a donkey walking round and round on the treadmill's path, so the millstones will grind the flour. The activity is not glamorous, but it produces unseen benefits for others.

When God sometimes lets us see how He's utilizing us to participate in His miracles, I think He’s giving us encouragement on that path and telling us not be discouraged when we don’t always see the good results of our work.

He’s helping me recognize that all our lives are of value if we let God work in us. He also reminds me that only through Him can good works happen, and thus prevents me from becoming proud and pleased with myself.

So I conclude by saying this was a great week!

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On Golden Pondering

1/6/2014

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Isn’t ‘pondering’ a great word? Its synonyms include: contemplate, reflect, meditate and cogitate on. You can just imagine Mary by her newborn baby, looking at him adoringly and pondering in her heart on the huge significance of this first Christmas.

Such was my inner response to the unexpected blessings this Christmas brought.

‘Twas an Unfamiliar Christmas Eve  

Florida is where my family spent Christmas this year. I was unhappy to leave my beautifully decorated Maryland home, but it was the right thing to do.

My mother is in assisted living - in Sarasota, where my husband hopes to retire soon. She cannot travel to visit us anymore, having lost the use of her left side in a stroke and being wheelchair bound.  We had to fly out and visit her, because we're her only family in the States - everyone else lives in England. 

It upset me that the closest thing to midnight Mass locally was at 10:30 p.m. Back home we have a true 12 o’clock Mass, but I reckon the older generation couldn’t stay up that late!

Offer up your sadness, I told myself. I expect Mary was a tad dismayed when she saw where her baby was supposed to sleep! And I bet she didn’t give St. Joseph a hard time about it, either. She will have smiled through her disappointment and focused on the positive. 

When Christmas Eve dinner was over I reminded the family that I was going to ‘midnight’ Mass in half an hour.

My twenty-one year old son smiled. “Mum, I’ll come with you. It’s a tradition and it won’t feel like Christmas if I don’t.”

You can imagine how overjoyed I was to hear those words! Not wanting to set myself up for misery, I’d not even secretly hoped he would come. 

Although this would have been the first year without his company, I’d been careful not to bring it up. He is no longer a regular church goer, which I pray will change. But he's too old to have his mother tell him what to think and do.

He pulled out the ironing board, and pressed a clean shirt to wear to greet Our Lord at His birth.

Graces, Godsends & Gratitude

The church was twenty minutes away, and while he drove, my son talked to me about personal things which don’t usually get discussed in the hurried life we lead. Another blessing.  

I had forgotten about the carol service immediately preceding this Mass, and the parking lot was chock full. Yet we found a space and once in the building, were lucky enough to get two seats next to each other half way up the aisle.

The pews were just regular chairs, without any kneelers. During the times in Mass when Catholics would normally kneel, the congregation had to stand.

(I’ll skip over my aggravation - as soon as I’d sat down - at seeing a parishioner walk in with two large, takeaway cups of coffee. I deliberately looked no more in their direction, as I didn’t want to see whether or not they had the audacity to drink it during the service!! Judge not lest ye be judged, I told myself.)

My son remembered all the prayers and responses during Mass, which was another wonderful surprise. The priest then incensed the offerings, and after a short while that distinctive aroma reached us.

Ross beamed. “Ah! Now it’s Christmas!”

I was so grateful to God that my son still embraced Catholic tradition.  I pray this will lead him fully back to the Church one day.

After Mass, as we were returning our hymnals, he noticed that a free book was being handed. The title was on my ‘to buy’ list: Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberley Hahn. Another unexpected bonus, which I voraciously read over the next three days.

Merry Christmas to Us, and to Us a Good Night 

Our cozy chats resumed during the trip back to the semi-darkness of my mother-in-law’s house, where everyone else had gone to bed.

Traditionally, after midnight Mass Ross joins me in a glass of mulled wine and we eat a minced pie each. Sadly, he was unable to do so this year, having been recently diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. God willing, he will share these things with me again next year.

Instead, we hugged and wished each other “Merry Christmas!” before he retired to bed.

Midnight Meditations

In a happy daze, I sat alone at the little breakfast table, sipping my hot spiced wine and munching on a minced pie - baked in Maryland for this very occasion - past the hour of 12 a.m.

My heart was full as I pondered this evening’s miraculous events and contemplated Mary’s wonder on beholding her child in the manger that first Christmas night.

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Divine Mercy Sunday or How to Dispel Despair

4/3/2013

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Our despair is Satan's greatest joy



When life is going badly and there seems no way out, it's easy to fall into despair.

Yet Christ's Easter message is: "Don't despair!" 

Repeat After Me..

We proclaim that message every time we recite the Apostles' Creed: Jesus "rose from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father....I believe in the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting."
 
There's no despair here.

But perhaps constant repetition has dulled our attentiveness to the reality of what we're saying: that Jesus suffered horribly for our sakes so that we might rise up from death and  have eternal life.

We are made in God's image and destined to be with Him in heaven. Christ asks us not to let earthly setbacks throw us into misery and distract us from that goal.

God loves us. If he puts suffering our lives, it's to turn our thoughts away from the world and back to Him and His infinite mercy.

But  fighting off despair and trusting in God's mercy is tough.

Judas Versus Peter

Despair is Satan’s most powerful weapon against God. He rejoices whenever he succeeds in separating us from our hope in Christ (see 'Hope versus Hope' in my last post). He thus sabotages our salvation and adds our souls to the ranks of those destined for hell.

Judas of Iscariot committed the ultimate sin when he despaired of forgiveness for betraying Jesus, thus cutting himself off from future happiness with God.

Peter denied knowing Christ three times, after having just said that he loved Him and would do anything for Him. But in contrast to Judas, he wept bitterly and repented over his betrayal. 

This humble admission of guilt and belief in Christ’s forgiveness wiped his slate clean. Peter's faith and hope restored his good standing with God and ensured his redemption.

Judas allowed Satan to deceive him into despairing of Christ's love: Peter believed in Our Lord’s mercy and was granted it.

Who would you rather be?

But What Use Is God's Mercy When I'm Suffering? 

Blessed Sopocko, confessor and spiritual director of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska has this to say about despair in his book God is Mercy (Marian Press, 1965, p. 81):

“Despair is passion arising in us because of the impossibility of escaping evil. The name covers not only the feeling of despair itself, but also the inclination to it. ... It is opposed to hope and trust, so much so that while hope enlightens, despair kills. ... (my italics)

“The causes of despair can vary. Temporal or spiritual misfortunes, incurable illness, loss of respect and honor, financial ruin, threat of inevitable danger, etc. Under the influence of such disasters there follows a terrible depression which takes away all energy, paralyzes the nerves, renders clear thinking impossible, and even impedes breathing and the normal circulation of the blood, so that the brain is not supplied sufficiently with oxygen and ceases to function sufficiently. ...

“If we search for the very first, deepest cause of despair, we always find a lack of trust in the Mercy of God. ...”  (My italics)

(Taken from What Is Divine Mercy? By Dr. Robert Stackpole)

But why is it that when things are going badly, we find it the hardest to trust in God?

Because we want control over our lives. We want to know exactly what lies ahead, we demand concrete proof that our bad situation will end and quickly.

‘Show, don’t tell!’ is the usual advice to story writers and we feel the same way about God. Don't tell us that all will be well, through the Scriptures, don't tell us that we must trust in You: show us a reason to trust you by performing a miracle!

For some reason, God's amazing miracle of resurrection on Easter Sunday often isn't good enough for us. We're doubting Thomases who want to see it for ourselves, not have to believe writings from 2000 years ago.

Unfortunately faith means believing without seeing, and we must have blind faith if we’re to attain the goal for which we were made, namely to be with God in eternity.

Dispelling Despair Through Divine Mercy
 
Since despair comes from believing things will never get better and that we are alone in our misery, the antidote is complete trust in God’s love for us. (See 'Christ's Strategy' in my last post.)

Dr. Stackpole says, regarding the benefits of trusting in God:

"It opens the door to all the graces and blessings He wants to give us.” (My italics.)

We mustn’t hang ourselves with despair, like Judas. Instead we must trust in God’s mercy and be raised from misery to happiness.

....Which Leads Us to Divine Mercy Sunday

This weekend, Catholics will celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday (Feast of Mercy).

God’s mercy is not confined to this one day of the year – it is available every single day of every year! – but there are certain graces to be obtained on that day.

Here is entry 699 of St. Faustina Kowalska’s diary, in which Christ makes clear his desires for Divine Mercy Sunday. This entry is very long, but if you read it, you'll feel overwhelmed by Christ's love for you.

My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which graces flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy.

(Even if you've not been to Confession for 60 years or more, you may feel that it's worth going now, before next Sunday. :) I promise you, priests are kind in the confessional: they are there to help us make a good confession, not beat us up over our sins!)

Christ also revealed to St. Faustina the extraordinary graces available to those who devoutly receive Holy Communion on Divine Mercy Sunday:

I want to grant a complete pardon to the souls that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion on the Feast of My mercy (1109).  

Whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete forgiveness of sins and punishment (300).  

The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion will obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment (699).

Click here for further information on how to prepare for Divine Mercy Sunday 

Are God’s Graces Confined to Catholics?

No!

I know that we Catholics are considered arrogant because we believe that Catholicism is ‘the one, true faith.’
 
We make no apologies for this belief.
 
Christ instituted the Catholic (i.e. universal) Church 2013 years ago. All other Christian faiths are man-made spin-offs. (I now cheerfully await an onslaught of angry comments!) The Sacraments of our faith make the Christian life easier for Catholics.  We certainly don't believe that non-Catholics are doomed to the eternal fire of hell.



The important thing is to trust in God’s mercy and humbly ask Him to forgive our sins. Christ longs for us all to come to Him – Catholics and non-Catholics alike.

We will stop feeling despair when we realize that Christ is always walking with us.


Postscript: Whenever I find myself teetering on the edge of despair, I quickly recite this prayer, over and over again:

‘Eternal God, in Whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself.’ Diary 950

I hope it helps you, too.

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The Miraculous Mother

3/16/2012

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On January 13th my mother was found in her house by a concerned friend, who called in the police to break down the door. She had been lying downstairs for approximately three days, after suffering a stroke.

Mother lives in a different state from me, and we don’t phone each other that often. It’s that way with all my English family members – we simply don’t chat to each other except when we really have something to say.

So it was lucky the friend was trying to contact her, and became concerned when there was no answer.

Death’s Door?

I worried that my mother might be close to death and I feared for her salvation, as she had left the Church many decades ago. Worse, she was very anti-Catholic, hated the English Mass, ("it should have stayed in Latin") and had a grudge against priests and God.

None of which bode well for her making it to Heaven!

Intercession is at Hand


So before I flew over to visit her in hospital, I told my parish priest of my anxiety.
 
He gave me the relic of someone I’d never heard of before. It was a piece of the veil of Mother Therese of Jesus inside a tiny plastic case, which included a photo of the nun and the words of a novena.

“She is up for canonization,” Father said. “Pray this novena to her, and if it works, return the relic to me.”

No Pressure, Then!

The novena now had to work for two reasons: first, because I wanted Mother reconciled to God, and second, I wanted to help Mother Therese become canonized!

Before my flight, I emailed the novena to a Catholic friend of mine who had offered to pray it for my mother, too. Thank goodness I did, because two days into my trip I somehow mislaid the relic. At least I had a copy of the prayer and could continue with the novena, even if I no longer had the piece of veil.

But I now found myself in a difficult position: if the relic worked, I had to return it. But since I’d lost it, I couldn’t give it back. So was I supposed to hope it wouldn’t work, so that I didn’t have to return it?!

Reading about her life, it’s clear that Mother Therese had a great sense of humor, and she must have appreciated my ridiculous dilemma. I can still see her smiling.

Even after the nine days were up I continued to pray the words of the novena daily to her.

Embarrassing Confession

I flew home, and soon afterwards went out to dinner with my husband and son to a local restaurant. As we were walking back to our car, my husband said, “There’s Father!”

I had been dreading telling him about the missing relic, but here was a God-given opportunity to get the confession over with. I said a quick ‘hello,’ then blurted out “I’ve lost the icon!”

He looked a bit confused then said, “You mean the relic?”

I nodded miserably, and he continued, “Then ask Mother Therese to help you find it. I’m sure she will.” I had to admire his fortitude.

My Birthday Present 
 

On my birthday I received an email from a Catholic friend of Mother’s, after visiting her in rehabilitation. She had taken a rosary in with her and placed it round my mother’s neck, then asked Mother if she was interested in seeing a priest?

Mother nodded and asked to see her friend’s parish priest, whom she had already met. Ecstatic, the friend called Father Eric.

What a birthday present for me that email was!

The Miracle

The following day, Father Eric came to see my mother. She received the Last Sacrament - now called the Anointing of the Sick - and Final Absolution.
 
Alleluia! I have wanted this for her salvation for decades.
 
Once I got over the shock of my prayers' success, I felt a sense of profound peace. A soul saved! What a miracle!

It took an incapacitating stroke for my mother to reflect on the world to come and the importance of being reconciled with God.

I’ve since been out to see her again, and she was so proud to let me know that she goes to Mass whenever it is offered in her place of rehabilitation (which is Lutheran) and she also goes to Vespers when it is available.

Thank You, Mother Therese of Jesus!

I have emailed the nuns at Mother Therese’s Carmelite convent in Pennsylvania letting them know about the miracle their deceased Mother Superior has brought about.
 
I do hope it furthers that lovely lady’s cause. When she was exhumed in 2001, they discovered her body was still intact. This has happened with several saints in Europe but is apparently very rare in the U.S.

The Power of Prayer

I put all the confidence in God that I could muster into praying that novena. I had been worried about Mother’s soul for so long, and had to do something to save it: time was running out.
 
With Mother Therese’s help, and using Mother’s friend as His instrument, God gave me my miracle. It just goes to show how powerful prayers can be, if sent up with true confidence in God’s help.
 
P.S. I’ve also asked the Carmelite nuns if there’s any chance of a replacement relic for me to return to my parish priest. Wish me luck!

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    Hilary Walker

    A fanatic horse rider and writer of Christian Inspirational Fiction, who's beginning to understand that making it to Heaven is a tad more important than winning at horse shows.

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