In October my son went for a week to Rhode Island to attend a seminar for dog trainers.

But he learned much more than how to educate a dog or grow a canine business. He came back with a long list of really good books to read - none of which had anything to do with dogs, but everything to do with self-improvement.
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Thanks to that seminar the Kindle app on my phone is now rapidly filling up with great books!
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I am already re-reading ‘The Slight Edge’ by Jeff Olson. 

Habits of Thought & Attitude 

The book is about changing one’s life for the better by means of slight daily improvements.

He discusses how habits of thought and attitude can either ‘uphold and support you’ or ‘imprison and restrain you.’ It’s important to be aware of those that don’t serve us and either change or get rid of them.

Replacing a bad habit with one that empowers and serves us is a great way to do this and one way to achieve this is to have a positive outlook. People with a positive attitude move towards their goals instead of away from them.

​Daily Appreciation 

Cultivate the habit of gratitude. Mr. Olson says that positive psychologists note how consistently happier people share this trait. He suggests writing down three things to be grateful for upon waking every day – three different things.

We tend to take good things for granted and zero in on those that aren’t so wonderful. But by doing that we give too much power to the negative and derive no benefits from the positive.

By switching our focus to the goodness in life we can totally change our outlook.

For me, this means looking for God’s grace every day. Since I’ve started to do that, I’ve been amazed to find out how much He’s looking out for me.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve suddenly caught myself driving too fast and have taken my foot off the gas, only to find that there’s a cop car waiting up ahead. Thank you, God, for giving me the chance to do the right thing!

The other day I went to the dermatologist and my face was basted with a special cream. This was for the light treatment I needed for pre-cancer cells. A piece of Saran wrap was placed over my nose, with another on my forehead.

I had to wait 90 minutes like this before the actual light treatment and didn’t want to sit in the waiting room that long. So I drove across to Panera and bought myself a coffee. As I was walking to a table, I knocked my cup against my purse and the container fell onto the floor. The lid came off and the contents spilled all over the carpet.

Not only had I lost my entire drink, but had also drawn attention to my Saran-wrapped face. It was most definitely a negative moment!

Then a lady jumped up from her table to help me mop up the mess, telling me that she’s a waitress and a klutz and always dropping things on the floor. Whether that was true or not, I so appreciated her empathy!

When I got to the front of the line again to order a new coffee, the lady looked surprised. I told her what had happened and she immediately asked the barista to remake my drink - and charged me nothing. The barista worried that she hadn’t put the lid on my coffee properly, but I assured her the whole episode was entirely my fault.

Thus, on the heels of huge embarrassment came three spontaneous acts of kindness.

Which was going to serve me best? Dwelling on the positive or the negative?
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If we look for it, we’ll find that goodness abounds everywhere.

Christmas Thanks 

One year ago my son was in a full-blown flare with ulcerative colitis. He had dropped 40 lbs and was unable to walk without the aid of canes because, as a secondary complication, he had also developed bursitis on his knees. He looked skeletal, was getting no sleep, was in constant pain and enduring all the other horrible issues of someone in his condition.

He made it through this Thanksgiving without a flare (YAY!) and we are looking forward to his first healthy Christmas in three years.

Yes, there is a lot to be thankful for.

I hope you find many reasons to be grateful this Christmas and that the New Year brings you ever more blessings.

This has been an amazing week! The Holy Spirit has worked through me (with the aid of others) to directly benefit two persons' lives.

Guided to an Oasis

We often go through long periods when it feels as if we’re not doing anything useful for the world. Our financial donations to various causes are important, but we don’t see the benefits of this activity close-up.

That feeling of dryness completely changed this week. I was led to a spiritual oasis, a wonderful gift from God for Lent.

Using me, the Holy Spirit led two people to bring two people closer to God and in line with His loving wishes for their lives.

I feel privileged and deeply grateful to God.  He’s been hearing “Thank you” much more often from me than just the regular petitions this week!

The Donkey’s Lot

My previous parish priest used to say that the life of a good Christian is often like that of a donkey walking round and round on the treadmill's path, so the millstones will grind the flour. The activity is not glamorous, but it produces unseen benefits for others.

When God sometimes lets us see how He's utilizing us to participate in His miracles, I think He’s giving us encouragement on that path and telling us not be discouraged when we don’t always see the good results of our work.

He’s helping me recognize that all our lives are of value if we let God work in us. He also reminds me that only through Him can good works happen, and thus prevents me from becoming proud and pleased with myself.

So I conclude by saying this was a great week!

Isn’t ‘pondering’ a great word? Its synonyms include: contemplate, reflect, meditate and cogitate on. You can just imagine Mary by her newborn baby, looking at him adoringly and pondering in her heart on the huge significance of this first Christmas.

Such was my inner response to the unexpected blessings this Christmas brought.

‘Twas an Unfamiliar Christmas Eve  

Florida is where my family spent Christmas this year. I was unhappy to leave my beautifully decorated Maryland home, but it was the right thing to do.

My mother is in assisted living - in Sarasota, where my husband hopes to retire soon. She cannot travel to visit us anymore, having lost the use of her left side in a stroke and being wheelchair bound.  We had to fly out and visit her, because we're her only family in the States - everyone else lives in England. 

It upset me that the closest thing to midnight Mass locally was at 10:30 p.m. Back home we have a true 12 o’clock Mass, but I reckon the older generation couldn’t stay up that late!

Offer up your sadness, I told myself. I expect Mary was a tad dismayed when she saw where her baby was supposed to sleep! And I bet she didn’t give St. Joseph a hard time about it, either. She will have smiled through her disappointment and focused on the positive. 

When Christmas Eve dinner was over I reminded the family that I was going to ‘midnight’ Mass in half an hour.

My twenty-one year old son smiled. “Mum, I’ll come with you. It’s a tradition and it won’t feel like Christmas if I don’t.”

You can imagine how overjoyed I was to hear those words! Not wanting to set myself up for misery, I’d not even secretly hoped he would come. 

Although this would have been the first year without his company, I’d been careful not to bring it up. He is no longer a regular church goer, which I pray will change. But he's too old to have his mother tell him what to think and do.

He pulled out the ironing board, and pressed a clean shirt to wear to greet Our Lord at His birth.

Graces, Godsends & Gratitude

The church was twenty minutes away, and while he drove, my son talked to me about personal things which don’t usually get discussed in the hurried life we lead. Another blessing.  

I had forgotten about the carol service immediately preceding this Mass, and the parking lot was chock full. Yet we found a space and once in the building, were lucky enough to get two seats next to each other half way up the aisle.

The pews were just regular chairs, without any kneelers. During the times in Mass when Catholics would normally kneel, the congregation had to stand.

(I’ll skip over my aggravation - as soon as I’d sat down - at seeing a parishioner walk in with two large, takeaway cups of coffee. I deliberately looked no more in their direction, as I didn’t want to see whether or not they had the audacity to drink it during the service!! Judge not lest ye be judged, I told myself.)

My son remembered all the prayers and responses during Mass, which was another wonderful surprise. The priest then incensed the offerings, and after a short while that distinctive aroma reached us.

Ross beamed. “Ah! Now it’s Christmas!”

I was so grateful to God that my son still embraced Catholic tradition.  I pray this will lead him fully back to the Church one day.

After Mass, as we were returning our hymnals, he noticed that a free book was being handed. The title was on my ‘to buy’ list: Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberley Hahn. Another unexpected bonus, which I voraciously read over the next three days.

Merry Christmas to Us, and to Us a Good Night 

Our cozy chats resumed during the trip back to the semi-darkness of my mother-in-law’s house, where everyone else had gone to bed.

Traditionally, after midnight Mass Ross joins me in a glass of mulled wine and we eat a minced pie each. Sadly, he was unable to do so this year, having been recently diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. God willing, he will share these things with me again next year.

Instead, we hugged and wished each other “Merry Christmas!” before he retired to bed.

Midnight Meditations

In a happy daze, I sat alone at the little breakfast table, sipping my hot spiced wine and munching on a minced pie - baked in Maryland for this very occasion - past the hour of 12 a.m.

My heart was full as I pondered this evening’s miraculous events and contemplated Mary’s wonder on beholding her child in the manger that first Christmas night.

When life is going badly and there seems no way out, it's easy to fall into despair.

Yet Christ's Easter message is: "Don't despair!" 

Repeat After Me..

We proclaim that message every time we recite the Apostles' Creed: Jesus "rose from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father....I believe in the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting."
 
There's no despair here.

But perhaps constant repetition has dulled our attentiveness to the reality of what we're saying: that Jesus suffered horribly for our sakes so that we might rise up from death and  have eternal life.

We are made in God's image and destined to be with Him in heaven. Christ asks us not to let earthly setbacks throw us into misery and distract us from that goal.

God loves us. If he puts suffering our lives, it's to turn our thoughts away from the world and back to Him and His infinite mercy.

But  fighting off despair and trusting in God's mercy is tough.

Judas Versus Peter

Despair is Satan’s most powerful weapon against God. He rejoices whenever he succeeds in separating us from our hope in Christ (see 'Hope versus Hope' in my last post). He thus sabotages our salvation and adds our souls to the ranks of those destined for hell.

Judas of Iscariot committed the ultimate sin when he despaired of forgiveness for betraying Jesus, thus cutting himself off from future happiness with God.

Peter denied knowing Christ three times, after having just said that he loved Him and would do anything for Him. But in contrast to Judas, he wept bitterly and repented over his betrayal. 

This humble admission of guilt and belief in Christ’s forgiveness wiped his slate clean. Peter's faith and hope restored his good standing with God and ensured his redemption.

Judas allowed Satan to deceive him into despairing of Christ's love: Peter believed in Our Lord’s mercy and was granted it.

Who would you rather be?

But What Use Is God's Mercy When I'm Suffering? 

Blessed Sopocko, confessor and spiritual director of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska has this to say about despair in his book God is Mercy (Marian Press, 1965, p. 81):

“Despair is passion arising in us because of the impossibility of escaping evil. The name covers not only the feeling of despair itself, but also the inclination to it. ... It is opposed to hope and trust, so much so that while hope enlightens, despair kills. ... (my italics)

“The causes of despair can vary. Temporal or spiritual misfortunes, incurable illness, loss of respect and honor, financial ruin, threat of inevitable danger, etc. Under the influence of such disasters there follows a terrible depression which takes away all energy, paralyzes the nerves, renders clear thinking impossible, and even impedes breathing and the normal circulation of the blood, so that the brain is not supplied sufficiently with oxygen and ceases to function sufficiently. ...

“If we search for the very first, deepest cause of despair, we always find a lack of trust in the Mercy of God. ...”  (My italics)

(Taken from What Is Divine Mercy? By Dr. Robert Stackpole)

But why is it that when things are going badly, we find it the hardest to trust in God?

Because we want control over our lives. We want to know exactly what lies ahead, we demand concrete proof that our bad situation will end and quickly.

‘Show, don’t tell!’ is the usual advice to story writers and we feel the same way about God. Don't tell us that all will be well, through the Scriptures, don't tell us that we must trust in You: show us a reason to trust you by performing a miracle!

For some reason, God's amazing miracle of resurrection on Easter Sunday often isn't good enough for us. We're doubting Thomases who want to see it for ourselves, not have to believe writings from 2000 years ago.

Unfortunately faith means believing without seeing, and we must have blind faith if we’re to attain the goal for which we were made, namely to be with God in eternity.

Dispelling Despair Through Divine Mercy
 
Since despair comes from believing things will never get better and that we are alone in our misery, the antidote is complete trust in God’s love for us. (See 'Christ's Strategy' in my last post.)

Dr. Stackpole says, regarding the benefits of trusting in God:

"It opens the door to all the graces and blessings He wants to give us.” (My italics.)

We mustn’t hang ourselves with despair, like Judas. Instead we must trust in God’s mercy and be raised from misery to happiness.

....Which Leads Us to Divine Mercy Sunday

This weekend, Catholics will celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday (Feast of Mercy).

God’s mercy is not confined to this one day of the year – it is available every single day of every year! – but there are certain graces to be obtained on that day.

Here is entry 699 of St. Faustina Kowalska’s diary, in which Christ makes clear his desires for Divine Mercy Sunday. This entry is very long, but if you read it, you'll feel overwhelmed by Christ's love for you.

My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which graces flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy.

(Even if you've not been to Confession for 60 years or more, you may feel that it's worth going now, before next Sunday. :) I promise you, priests are kind in the confessional: they are there to help us make a good confession, not beat us up over our sins!)

Christ also revealed to St. Faustina the extraordinary graces available to those who devoutly receive Holy Communion on Divine Mercy Sunday:

I want to grant a complete pardon to the souls that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion on the Feast of My mercy (1109).  

Whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete forgiveness of sins and punishment (300).  

The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion will obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment (699).

Click here for further information on how to prepare for Divine Mercy Sunday 

Are God’s Graces Confined to Catholics?

No!

I know that we Catholics are considered arrogant because we believe that Catholicism is ‘the one, true faith.’
 
We make no apologies for this belief.
 
Christ instituted the Catholic (i.e. universal) Church 2013 years ago. All other Christian faiths are man-made spin-offs. (I now cheerfully await an onslaught of angry comments!) The Sacraments of our faith make the Christian life easier for Catholics.  We certainly don't believe that non-Catholics are doomed to the eternal fire of hell.



The important thing is to trust in God’s mercy and humbly ask Him to forgive our sins. Christ longs for us all to come to Him – Catholics and non-Catholics alike.

We will stop feeling despair when we realize that Christ is always walking with us.


Postscript: Whenever I find myself teetering on the edge of despair, I quickly recite this prayer, over and over again:

‘Eternal God, in Whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself.’ Diary 950

I hope it helps you, too.