In October my son went for a week to Rhode Island to attend a seminar for dog trainers.

But he learned much more than how to educate a dog or grow a canine business. He came back with a long list of really good books to read - none of which had anything to do with dogs, but everything to do with self-improvement.
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Thanks to that seminar the Kindle app on my phone is now rapidly filling up with great books!
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I am already re-reading ‘The Slight Edge’ by Jeff Olson. 

Habits of Thought & Attitude 

The book is about changing one’s life for the better by means of slight daily improvements.

He discusses how habits of thought and attitude can either ‘uphold and support you’ or ‘imprison and restrain you.’ It’s important to be aware of those that don’t serve us and either change or get rid of them.

Replacing a bad habit with one that empowers and serves us is a great way to do this and one way to achieve this is to have a positive outlook. People with a positive attitude move towards their goals instead of away from them.

​Daily Appreciation 

Cultivate the habit of gratitude. Mr. Olson says that positive psychologists note how consistently happier people share this trait. He suggests writing down three things to be grateful for upon waking every day – three different things.

We tend to take good things for granted and zero in on those that aren’t so wonderful. But by doing that we give too much power to the negative and derive no benefits from the positive.

By switching our focus to the goodness in life we can totally change our outlook.

For me, this means looking for God’s grace every day. Since I’ve started to do that, I’ve been amazed to find out how much He’s looking out for me.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve suddenly caught myself driving too fast and have taken my foot off the gas, only to find that there’s a cop car waiting up ahead. Thank you, God, for giving me the chance to do the right thing!

The other day I went to the dermatologist and my face was basted with a special cream. This was for the light treatment I needed for pre-cancer cells. A piece of Saran wrap was placed over my nose, with another on my forehead.

I had to wait 90 minutes like this before the actual light treatment and didn’t want to sit in the waiting room that long. So I drove across to Panera and bought myself a coffee. As I was walking to a table, I knocked my cup against my purse and the container fell onto the floor. The lid came off and the contents spilled all over the carpet.

Not only had I lost my entire drink, but had also drawn attention to my Saran-wrapped face. It was most definitely a negative moment!

Then a lady jumped up from her table to help me mop up the mess, telling me that she’s a waitress and a klutz and always dropping things on the floor. Whether that was true or not, I so appreciated her empathy!

When I got to the front of the line again to order a new coffee, the lady looked surprised. I told her what had happened and she immediately asked the barista to remake my drink - and charged me nothing. The barista worried that she hadn’t put the lid on my coffee properly, but I assured her the whole episode was entirely my fault.

Thus, on the heels of huge embarrassment came three spontaneous acts of kindness.

Which was going to serve me best? Dwelling on the positive or the negative?
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If we look for it, we’ll find that goodness abounds everywhere.

Christmas Thanks 

One year ago my son was in a full-blown flare with ulcerative colitis. He had dropped 40 lbs and was unable to walk without the aid of canes because, as a secondary complication, he had also developed bursitis on his knees. He looked skeletal, was getting no sleep, was in constant pain and enduring all the other horrible issues of someone in his condition.

He made it through this Thanksgiving without a flare (YAY!) and we are looking forward to his first healthy Christmas in three years.

Yes, there is a lot to be thankful for.

I hope you find many reasons to be grateful this Christmas and that the New Year brings you ever more blessings.

​I’ve been as confused as anyone about Pope Francis and his agenda.

As the Vicar of Christ, he is infallible when it comes to Catholic doctrine. But I have to admit to being one of those who were:

“dismayed that the pope, in his emphasis on the poor, barely mentioned issues like abortion and homosexuality during his visit to Washington, New York and Philadelphia.” NY Times 3rd October 2015

Why didn’t he speak out strongly against those things? Isn't that what a pope should do?

Papal Agenda 

When I mentioned my concerns to my family, my son shared an interesting view: while those are perhaps big issues in the U.S., Pope Francis probably wants to draw our attention to the global problem of the poor and marginalized.

Sounds plausible. 

But shouldn't he nevertheless address the huge threat in the U.S. to marriage and the life of the unborn?

Like Christ Before Him… 

Jesus’s disciples – and all the Jews – expected their Messiah to be a powerful king who would overthrow the oppressive Romans.But what they got was a humble man who ate with sinners.

This provoked 'righteous' indignation:

“When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, "Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners? (Mark 2:16).”

He went totally against their preconception of a powerful religious leader.
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In the same way, Pope Francis is causing many of us to scratch our heads over his leadership style.

God’s Priorities Remain the Same 

Yet Pope Francis is not, as some claim or hope, going to change Catholic doctrine. At the current synod he has spoken firmly for marriage between a man and a woman.

“Confronting a mass of 270 bishops at St Peter's Basilica in Rome, he reaffirmed the Catholic Church's opposition to gay marriage as he opened a three-week synod focusing on family issues….. He insisted the church cannot be 'swayed by passing fads or popular opinion'.” (Daily Mail 5th October 2015.)

But he is also calling on the Church to show mercy to those who are struggling.

He “stressed that the Church must be more welcoming, charitable, compassionate and merciful to all people, particularly those whose lives have been wounded and who find it difficult to adhere to all of the Church's regulations.” (Daily Mail 5th October 2015.)

Is this not the same response as Jesus, when He heard the Pharisees grumbling about His consorting with sinners?
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“And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2: 17).”
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An Uncomfortable Message 

Accustomed to sermons about the evil world around us, many of us congratulate ourselves on not being a part of it. Jesus addressed this human tendency:

“The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: 'God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.’ (Luke 18:11).”

Pope Francis is walking in Christ’s footsteps and has an urgent message for us:

“We should not simply remain in our own secure world, that of the 99 sheep who never strayed from the fold, but we should go out, with Christ, in search of the one lost sheep, however far it may have wandered.” (Catholic Herald, 27th March 2013)

Abortion
 
He has not changed Catholic doctrine on abortion, which remains a serious sin. But he does want to extend Christ’s mercy to those who have had an abortion and sincerely repent doing so. He is reaching out to those women who, as a result, are outside the Church.
                
“The order, which temporarily allows all priests to grant forgiveness to women who have elected to have an abortion and profoundly regret the procedure, is part of the church’s jubilee year of mercy, which begins on 8 December and runs until 20 November 2016.” (The Guardian, 1st September 2015) 

(Ordinarily a bishop must forgive this sin.)

Is this not an echo of John’s words?

"For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (John 3:17).”

Christ wants all of mankind to be saved.
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Like Jesus before him, this new pope is reaching out to all sinners, and giving us a chance to ask for mercy, with the opportunity to repent and change our ways before it’s too late.

Pope Francis is not what we’re used to. But we can be certain that he walks with Christ, and must support his efforts. 

I am currently reading the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. It is the fascinating and intensely holy journey of the Polish nun whom Christ commissioned with the task of spreading devotion to His Divine Mercy.

She records the words spoken to her by Jesus, in which He reveals an unfathomable love for mankind.

Jesus’ Frustration

He also tells her of how deeply saddened He is when we don’t come to Him with pure, childlike trust.

“This distrust of My goodness hurts me very much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what will?....There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love. They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow… I cannot help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or love Me.” (580) (My italics)

Last Friday we commemorated the death of Christ, following the horrible scourging with lead-tipped whips and being forced to carry the heavy wooden cross before having His hands and feet nailed to it.

He did all that to prove how much He loves each one of us – regardless of our past. 

In doing so He conquered death and Satan, and urgently wants us to ask for His mercy and forgiveness, so that we can be with Him in Heaven when our life here on earth is over.

It doesn't take a genius to understand Christ’s frustration when we still refuse to believe in Him, despite everything He’s done for us!

Our Free Choice to Descend Into Hell 

Modern man has decided that he’s too smart for God and is happier without Him. 

All around us is clear evidence that this is not so. Yet we’re such ‘a stiff-necked people’ that we persist in our self-delusion. Do we really prefer our culture of death, the direct result of scorning God’s Ten Commandments? Do we really believe that we live in a better world now? Do you believe that?

As has already been noted, God is such a gentleman that when we say we don’t want Him, He leaves. And then we complain about the state of the world and wonder ‘how God can let it happen.’

Don’t we understand that we let it happen? We’re only getting what we asked for! And so we ‘do not wish to hear (His) call, but proceed into the abyss of hell.’

It’s our choice and an exercise of our free will. (Which, by the way, we wouldn’t have if God hadn’t given it to us….)

Sin & Satan: Myth or Reality?

We have to turn our backs on the secular culture that tells us there is no such thing as sin. The world and its very real prince, Satan, is having a wonderful time right now.

Satan knows that if we acknowledge sin, we’ll stop wasting our money on frivolous things and give more to the poor and needy. We'll spend less time watching television and more on praying and going to church. We’ll then be in real danger of getting out of his grasp and go to Heaven.

He hates us, and wants us to forget about God and sin.

Deep down we know that sin is real, even though we try to ignore it. Everyone one of us understands that murder is a sin, lying is a sin, theft, envy, etc.

All the things the Ten Commandments tell us not to do we are innately aware are wrong. God put that moral code into our hearts. But we don’t want to do the right thing because it ‘impinges on our freedom.’

As I mentioned earlier, where has that version of ‘freedom’ got us?

Those who have been through wars remind us that freedom doesn’t come for free. How much truer that is with God! We have to battle to keep our freedom.

Complete Forgiveness

Divine Mercy Sunday is this weekend.

‘No soul will be justified until it turns with confidence to My mercy, and this is why the first Sunday after Easter is to be the Feast of Mercy. On that day, priests are to tell everyone about My great and unfathomable mercy.’ (570)

Jesus is hurt that we don't understand how true freedom is a release from our sins. He reassures us that absolutely no one has reason to shrink from going to Confession. ‘Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet.’ (699)

Christ rejoices when those who have been away from the Sacraments come back to the Church. His parable of the Prodigal Son wasn’t simply a moving story: He told it so that we could understand God's joy when one of His lost sheep comes back to the fold.

For non-Catholics, it is also a call to ask for forgiveness as well as an opportunity to see the many ways the Catholic Church can help its members draw closer to God and to Heaven.

‘I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment… Mankind will not have peace until it returns to the fount of My mercy.’ (699)



Jesus' call for our repentance is just as valid today as it was when Noah was told to build the Ark, when Jonah was sent to save Nineveh, when John the Baptist preached in the desert or Peter converted over 3,000 people at Pentecost.

This Sunday,let’s take advantage of God’s fathomless ability to forgive.

Our previous parish priest exhorted us to look up, not at the ground. 

If we persist in staring down, that’s where we’re going to end up. Elevating our thoughts towards Heaven prevents us from becoming despondent and downhearted.

He's so right! When things go horribly wrong in my own life, I shuffle along feeling sorry for myself, with hunched shoulders and bowed head. Everything is doom and gloom.

What a different story when I lift up my head, straighten my shoulders and meet life head on! The physical act of standing upright brings with it a sense of determination and purpose.

Then we pray to God for help and He gives us the strength to deal with the difficulties life throws at us.

On One’s High Horse

It’s the same when you’re on a horse. No matter whether you’re riding dressage or jumping, you need to sit up straight and look ahead.

With dressage this means looking at the letter you're aiming for in a particular movement. For jumping, it means looking over the fence, not at it. You don’t want to land on the obstacle, you want to clear it. 

In both scenarios we mustn't look down, or that's where we’ll end up!

What Happens When We Fall?

When we first learn to ride, we think that not falling off makes us good riders and we're proud of ourselves.

But then comes the day when we take a tumble. The longer it has taken that day to come, the harder it is to shake off the experience and get back on the horse.

Some people never do. I often hear stories from friends about how the day they fell off a horse was the time they rode. They never got back in the saddle – they didn’t want to take the chance of falling off again.

How sad! They've missed out on so much fun.

I’ve fallen off more times than I can remember. Some of those incidents were physically painful, others just bruised my ego. Even though I never want to, I get back on the horse straight away, if I'm physically able.

If not, I would have to brand myself a coward for life. That would be way more painful.

I’m not naturally courageous. If you follow my horse blog posts, you’ll see plenty of occasions when I’m nervous and it takes a lot to get me going again. My horse, Cruz Bay and I have taken some dreadful tumbles, and it isn’t easy to get over them.

I have to work at avoiding the errors which led to those falls and not give up when I mess up. 

The Christian life requires the same attitude. 

Be Perfect as Your Heavenly Father Is Perfect

That is one tough challenge, isn’t it? Who can live up to that?

Riding has taught me that I will never be the perfect horsewoman, but I still strive to become that person. How much more vital is reaching for perfection in the Christian life!

Sadly for many, the seeming impossibility of attaining this goal is so discouraging that they don’t even try to reach it. Or maybe they work hard for a while, feel they’re making progress, then become despondent when they fall into sin again. 

Having sinned once more, they've proved they’re not perfect. So they may as well commit another, and another, until they are much further from the goal than when they started.

Christ talks about this when he mentions the man whose house is swept clean when the demons are removed. But when the man is not truly committed and doesn’t replace those demons with good living, many more come back into him than were there in the first place (Luke 11:24-46).

A Reason to Give Up?

Does that mean that it's hopeless trying to be good?

Of course not!  Christ died on the cross to make up for our deficiencies and grant us mercy when we fail: He walks with us in the good times and the bad.

If we fall into sin, we must sincerely repent and ask Him for forgiveness then pick ourselves up and walk again in the paths of righteousness.

We will fall into sin, time and time again. Way more often than the average rider falls off a horse!

Follow Your Passion

But if Christ is our passion, we get up, dust ourselves off with a healthy visit to the confessional, and resume our spiritual course. If we love Christ, we’ll be quick to apologize to the One Whose mercy is endless and Whose compassion inexhaustible.

Christ reaches out His hands to us every time we fail. 

We then mustn't sin further by refusing to trust in His mercy and forgiveness, or equate Christ’s limitless reservoir of forgiveness with the pitiful puddle that is our own version of it.  

Falling Must Lead to Getting Up

Being human, we expect to fall. Being a Christian means getting up from a fall - again and again and again.

That is where Catholics are fortunate: we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation and hear the words of the priest in persona Christi absolving us of our sins. We can receive a fresh start as often as we need it.

And for those of us who feel that we might as well take a tape recording of our sins and press ‘play’ for the priest at every confession, because the sins are always the same: would you rather have more to confess than you already have?

We must keep battling with our sins, and get up again and again and again for the rest of our lives.

Then we can truly call ourselves Christians.

My mother has had a stroke. Her left side has stopped working, and she is now in assisted living. However, she could regain complete use of her left arm and leg – if she would only put effort into her therapy.

I’m Doing My Bit – Why Doesn’t She Do Hers?

She is driving me mad. I made sure that she was no longer in real pain and found her a kind, strong (and handsome) male therapist who has the patience of a saint. And still she won’t try to get better.

It takes forever to visit her from my house in Maryland. I have to fly to Chicago, then take a three hour bus trip from O’Hare to reach her house, before climbing into her car and driving to the assisted living home.

All this for someone who isn’t trying to get better!

Resenting the Cross I’ve Been Given

For a long time I ranted at God for putting me in the position of having to take care of my mother’s finances, spend a week cleaning out her incredibly cluttered house, and trying - long-distance – to organize the redecorating and sale of her property. (Clearly she won’t live there again, and has agreed to my selling it.)

Mother is causing me incredible inconvenience. Doesn’t she care that I have a life of my own? Why won’t she put in the effort to literally get back on her feet?

Time to Reflect

The bus rides back and forth give me plenty of time to reflect, but also to read. The book on this latest trip was “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers.

Was I reading that book because of Mother? No, actually. I’m trying to overcome certain fears I have when competing on my horse. But at the end of the book, Dr. Jeffers writes that life is about feeling joy, which is not derived from pursuing our own happiness.

“And what is joy? It is something that expresses the ebullience of the spiritual part of ourselves. Joy is characterized by lightness, humor, laughter and gaiety.”

She goes on to explain how we “become bigger (when) we move away from that ‘feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy’ (George Bernard Shaw). We move into adult status, where we have much to give this world.”

How to Experience Joy

God creates so many opportunities for us to give to people, but we tend to carefully sidestep them, because they get in the way of our 'true goal' i.e. the pursuit of our individual happiness.

Our true goal should, however, be helping others. As Christians we’re supposed to serve.

We can’t all be Mother Theresa and do mighty deeds. And God doesn’t ask that of us. He simply wants us to be good and faithful servants, doing His work humbly, regardless of how insignificant it appears to us or others.

Once I grasped this, I realized how selfish I am to get mad because my mother is disrupting my life. She didn’t choose to have a stroke!

Instead I should be glad of the opportunity to take care of her needs, because God wants me to. He has given me a job, He has let me know that I matter to Him and to her.  My joy is in fulfilling God’s purpose for me.

Last Sunday I introduced myself to our new parish priest.

He was a couple of months into his tenure before I had the courage to do this. I'm not one of those people who can walk up after Mass and have an easy, off-the-cuff conversation with a person I don't know.

Quiet Resolution

All during Mass I searched my brain for a topic to broach, having decided that today was the day I would finally say 'hello.'

I always enjoy Father's sermons, so I decided he would be pleased if I gave him this feedback. After Mass I dutifully stood in line behind other parishioners. He laughed and joked with the people in front of me, and then it was my turn.

Imagine my embarrassment when he shook my hand  - as I gave my name and said that I enjoy his sermons - but stood open-mouthed and said nothing! His expression was hard to read, but he clearly didn't want to talk to me.

I felt crushed and walked back to my car wanting to cry like a little child. How could God reward my courage and attempt at saying something kind and encouraging with such apparent contempt?

To Be Upfront or Not to Be?

There were two possible ways for me to react, as I saw it.

Either I could feel resentment, tell all my friends what a terrible priest he is and attend a new church.

Or, instead of going behind his back, I could let him know how he had made me feel and thrash it out with him.

Clearly the better route was to be direct with Father instead of going behind his back.

So I emailed him on Monday (after a night spent stewing over things!) and tried to keep it short, factual and not resentful. I simply asked why I had received such a reception from him when I was trying to be welcoming and encouraging!

The Christian Response

Within the hour I received an apologetic reply. Father felt very bad about the whole episode, explaining that he'd had very little sleep over the last two days.

I was happy to hear from him, but didn't know how to respond. So that night I prayed for him instead.

The next morning I had another email from him. He was offering that morning's Mass up for me and my intentions. My altruism in praying for him had been answered by incredible kindness.

Now I had to respond!

Letting Someone Else Benefit

I thanked him very much, and asked him to pray for a friend of mine who lost most of her house in Hurricane Irene's flood. He responded immediately that he would.

The Takeaway

Our parish priest is human, but he is also Christian. He was willing to be humble and charitable in the face of criticism. That is very difficult for all of us.

I'm more than happy to stay in his parish, and to keep learning from his example.

P.S. And I'm not kidding, his sermons are awesome!